i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
