So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
