we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
