The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
