The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
