Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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