Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
