Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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