you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
