I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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