So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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