okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
