Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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