As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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