Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
