Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
