i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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