Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
