great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
