Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
