i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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