21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
