You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
