your parents love me but you hate me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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