hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize