I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
