ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
