Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
