Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize