I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
