There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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