so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
