Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
