Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
