this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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