I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize