I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
