idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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