Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
