Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
