How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
