Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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