I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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