you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
