You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
third nipple confirmed
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
