he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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