the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
