She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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