Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
