I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
