Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone

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  (810): Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone http://tfl.nu/g4tt
  Replies (1) Good night (1199) Bad night (587)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned

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  (973): My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned http://tfl.nu/s0bf
  Replies (19) Good night (3795) Bad night (922)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut

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  (205): Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut http://tfl.nu/pdjw
  Replies (68) Good night (1166) Bad night (5624)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.

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  (484): I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/prts
  Replies (15) Good night (5071) Bad night (1430)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day

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  (316): I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day http://tfl.nu/h30u
  Replies (16) Good night (1588) Bad night (4034)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

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  (419): Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this... http://tfl.nu/jh8c
  Replies (19) Good night (2034) Bad night (3136)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (645)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

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  (248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (1359)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours

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  (518): We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours http://tfl.nu/zbw4
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (492)
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  (408): View more from California

  You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque

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  (408): You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque http://tfl.nu/3p7y
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (426)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating

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  (785): This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating http://tfl.nu/xcs8
  Replies (11) Good night (469) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.

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  (906): I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring. http://tfl.nu/2xnf
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies

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  (580): You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies http://tfl.nu/zkwv
  Replies (3) Good night (679) Bad night (404)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"

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  (406): He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you" http://tfl.nu/81kl
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live

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  (703): Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live http://tfl.nu/r57n
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (206)

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