I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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