Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

  (516): View more from New York

  You wear Armani Exchange.

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  (845): no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue. (516): You wear Armani Exchange. http://tfl.nu/2dtf
  Replies (16) Good night (742) Bad night (2181)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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  (914): Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?! http://tfl.nu/ay46
  Replies (20) Good night (2411) Bad night (942)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.

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  (563): He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO. http://tfl.nu/g898
  Replies (22) Good night (901) Bad night (4244)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.

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  (919): Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk. http://tfl.nu/sxlu
  Replies (11) Good night (1197) Bad night (5265)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.

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  (318): This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out. http://tfl.nu/skdx
  Replies (18) Good night (8033) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me

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  (210): he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me http://tfl.nu/5qy1
  Replies (25) Good night (1136) Bad night (8430)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.

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  (715): I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT. http://tfl.nu/2ujd
  Replies (27) Good night (3442) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear

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  (215): I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear http://tfl.nu/l6yx
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.

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  (601): In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school. http://tfl.nu/n19e
  Replies (10) Good night (1211) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?

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  (717): Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/xm16
  Replies (7) Good night (579) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What did he say?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!

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  (215): What did he say? (267): NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS! http://tfl.nu/60l0
  Replies (6) Good night (931) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!

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  (312): I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit. (312): It's great being a young gay man in Chicago! http://tfl.nu/tlgx
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless

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  (910): like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless http://tfl.nu/zehw
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.

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  (412): his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on. http://tfl.nu/3l4h
  Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol

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  (317): did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen? (1-317): All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol http://tfl.nu/15ix
  Replies (1) Good night (918) Bad night (239)

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