New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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