the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
