I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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