She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
