Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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