porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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