I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
