Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
