Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
