i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
