God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
