And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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