none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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