I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
