I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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