Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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